Carmike Cinemas, or Carmike Cinnamons?

I had an idea the other day. A very good idea. I was standing there in Lowside on Saturday, like I do every Saturday, and I thought that the theatre would make a lot more money if we sold cookies. Everybody likes cookies except for people who don't have souls, like "Pam". So, we start selling cookies. But people want more than just cookies, they want cinnamon rolls. So we start making those. Soon, cinnamon rolls turn into bigger cinnamon rolls, which in turn become cakes. Then that's where the best part comes in. If the Bucket is the best deal at the Carmike, then we take that Bucket and fill it with A CAKE. The deal with the Bucket is you buy it now for $25.00 and you bring it back and refill it for just $2.50. BAM

Why was Mr. Brasseal sweating?

I walked into the theatre yesterday, because I was buying shirts from Belk. I was in the break room checking my schedule, then Mr. Brasseal rips open the door and shouts "DEVIN, I NEED YOU!!" He was sweating. He wanted me to sign some stupid thing. So I did. Then I asked him why he was sweating and he because he was fat. I didn't know that he was fat. He doesn't look fat. I think he was sweating because he was eating chocolate. He was eating chocolate so intensely that he started to sweat. That's how I would eat chocolate, like a man. Eat your chocolate like it was about to rip through your hand and murder you. That's smart.

My sweater vest

The best time to to wear a wool sweater...is all the time. The one with a collared, turtle-neck. That's the kiiiiiiind. CUZ WHEN YOU'RE WEARING...THAT ONE SPECIAL SWEATER. I like my sweater vest. It is soft. It is also beige. When I wear it, it feels like i'm wearing a lamb. I walked in to the theater on Monday wearing my sweater and saw "Pam". "Pam" said "How are you today, Devin?" then I said "HOLY CRAP FEEL MY SWEATER!" Then "Pam" quickly ran away to go torture babies...or something with fish.

Working in Sattelite

This Saturday I worked in Low-side sattelite. It sucked. I was really bored, so I drew a stick figure on a piece of paper and named it Kevin. He used to be a boxer and he likes button-down shirts. People were still coming to see Justin Bieber. Why does he like the color purple so much? Because purple stands for dinosaur, like triceratopses with purple shirts and gloves...and dinosaurs are extinct.

Justin Bieber

The new Justin Bieber movie, Never say Never, came out today. A bunch of teenage girls came to see it, and while they waited for the movie to start, they sang. Loudly. They also spilled popcorn everywhere. One girl had a Justin Bieber-seizure and popcorn spilled all over the floor. I had to clean it up, and I blame Biebers. If I ever see Justin Bieber, I'm going break his legs and use his hair as a mop to clean up puddle of puke. My puke. The puke of hatred and revenge. Justin Bieber owes me seven hours of my life back. I had to serve screaming fan-girls popcorn for seven hours. Who makes a biography-movie about Justin Bieber, anyway? That's like if I made a documentary about the mating patterns of Elephant Seals, but instead I made a movie about buckets filled with pancake-wearing bald men. I would call it...Elmer's House of Pancakes.

Mr. Brasseal is weird(in a good way)

I was working on Sunday and I was just standing at my terminal. Then Mr. Brasseal walks up with a Zoes cup and fills it up with sprite. Then he turns to me with his legs crossed, his free hand on his hip, nods his head and says " How's it goin'?" I said awesome and he left. That man is my boss, and so is "Pam". I wish "Pam" would curl her hair with a curling iron and then drop it in her mouth and she chokes on it, there's your buckets for ya.

Workeeng weeth feesh

The Mechanic was bad, don't see it. Bleh, bleh, bleh. That is how "Pam" talks, she talks like a retarded fish with no lips. Fish dont have lips, that is why "Pam" is like fish...because I eat fish and "Pam" is not eaten by me so she is kind of not like fish. If a stick man was sixty feet tall, he would take up a football field. I hope that sixty foot stick man would eat "Pam" like fish.

My dream job meets Epic Meal Time

I currently work at The Carmike. I don't like working there, but sometimes I do...even though I don't. My dream job would be to make giant hamburgers in a big kitchen. I would have a stove the size of an elephant, it would be big so it can fit the whole hamburger that I have to make. The hamburger would be the size of a semi-truck. Here's how I would make it. First, I take the meat and I would tenderize with my fists, that's smart. I would then take a bottle of Baileys and pour it on the stove. Boil that Baileys, what you know about that?! Put bacon in the Baileys, make that pig drunk! Make the buns out of french bread, the size of Texas. Brand my face in the buns, we're talkin' sexy food!

For those of you who don't know about Epic Meal Time, it is the greatest youtube channel I have ever watched. Here's a link, EpicMealTime. Go to it, and finally live